Valentine’s Prep: Discover the Secrets to Lasting Intimacy

As you may know we are going to Newport Beach, CA, in February to lead a 3-Day Valentine’s Retreat. It’s all about discovering the secrets to lasting intimacy. And we are excited (both Freddy Zental and Elsbeth). Our regional coordinator, Ayanna, has been doing a phenomenal job in organizing the event and spreading the word in Southern California. 
 

By the way have you ever considered your intimacy or love conditioning? It’s already ingrained in your subconscious and if you want to make any changes to this conditioning it's essential to recognize what it is set for. Is it set for fulfillment and total satisfaction or neediness and lack of intimate connection? Is it set for struggle or ease, high or low libido, consistent or inconsistent sexual pleasure, picking winning or loosing relationships or partners? Unfortunately your current conditioning will stay with you for the rest of your life, unless you identify it and change it. 

With this in mind we created this Valentine's retreat so that women and men can enter new realms of intimate connection and fulfillment. Whatever your conditioning may be, you will be enabled in this retreat to unleash your full capacity for intimate connection and joy with yourself and your partner, rekindle your passion, and rejuvenate your body and spirit. 

This is what you will learn in a safe, respectful and joyous environment:

• How to create fulfillment, joy and pleasure in your relationship and life
• How to rediscover the source of your creative energy
• How to let go of blocks that prevent you from getting what you want

We at TantraNova hold that men and women approach sexual and intimate relationships in fundamentally different ways. For men, the feeling for love connection originates in his sexual center, while for women it originates in the heart center. The result is a big disconnect: He’s feeling it here, she is feeling it there, and eventually no one’s feeling it anywhere. TantraNova helps connect men and women to themselves and to each other and discover the magical connection that allows them to open up and fully be themselves. The outcome is an experience of:

• How to rediscover the source of your creative energy
• How to let go of blocks that prevent you from getting what you
• Deeper intimacy and love
• Rediscovered aliveness and spontaneity in your relationship
• Joy and play in relationship for the woman
• Revived vigor for the man
• Connection with your creative energy
• New ways to be with yourself and another
• Harmony and balance
• Expanded pleasure in your work and family
• Integration of your spiritual and sexual being

To learn more about their upcoming Valentine’s Weekend Retreat for Couples and Individuals in Newport Beach, CA, on February 15-17, 2008, go to http://www.tantranova.com or call Ayanna Mojica, Regional Coordinator, at 949-395-3359.

Honoring the Divine Within: Creating Deeper Intimacy

At TantraNova we have a tradition of celebrating the Holiday Season by inviting our community from near and far to our Holiday Puja Party. It’s this time of year again and we, Dr. E and Freddy Z, want to share with you about this great gathering of guests we had here at the TantraNova Institute in Chicago last night.

You may wonder what a Puja Party is. Puja is a Sanskrit word. Its meaning originates from ancient Buddhism and Hinduism. According to Wikipedia, puja means “expressions of honor, worship, devotional attention. Acts of puja include bowing, making offerings and chanting. These devotional acts are generally performed daily at home (either in the morning or evening or both) as well as during communal festivals.”

We at TantraNova have taken parts of the original idea of the puja traditions and created a Puja Party with the theme of “honoring the Divine within oneself and within another”. Our Puja Party last night was a Holiday celebration and our guests showed up in festive and inspiring clothes. It was a joyous and most delightful occasion since all of us got to connect with old and new friends. We enjoyed aphrodisiac foods that were prepared by raw food chefs Yvonne Washington and Bonita Kindle. It was a most delicious feast.

Freddy Zental created an engaging medley of dance music and we had a blast watching fabulous moves and individual expressive styles on the dance floor.

The center piece of the party constituted a Puja ritual which is a practice with an inner circle facing the outer circle. It’s a kind of musical chair game where the inner circle moves to the left after they connected with a person in the outer circle. Elsbeth and Freddy Zental lead the Puja ritual giving different directions at each station of the circle.

The ritual is designed to support you in becoming more present to the moment and to yourself. This in turn supports you in becoming more present to the person that stands across from you in the Puja circle. When fully present you bring focus to acknowledging the Divine within yourself and within the person you are facing at each of the Puja stations.

You can tell by all of our blog entries over the past few months that everything centers on being and becoming more present. Once you become more present you can connect more deeply with yourself as well as with another. This is at the very core of creating lasting intimacy in your life and relationships.

For further info on TantraNova and to learn more about creating lasting intimacy and love go to http://www.tantranova.com

Gifting - The Giving of Pleasure

This is the season for giving. I (Elsbeth) have been reflecting on the meaning and customs of giving in our culture. I experience this time often as a bitter–sweet event. However recently I declared to myself to be joyous, at peace and delighted in gifting without rushing around and hectic moments.

So, when Freddy Zental asked me for private time together – a time when we don’t work or discuss business, a time that is truly for the two of us alone, I accepted with delight. We set aside Saturday morning to create a Healing Ritual together.

As many of you know from working with us in seminars and private programs, feeling connected and intimate originates from a deep listening to oneself and one’s partner. The Healing Rituals we practice and teach allow cultivating that kind of listening. One crucial dimension for this listening is the establishing of the giver and receiver roles.

I prepared myself for the ritual by choosing to be the giver with the intention to support Freddy Zental further in his recovery from surgery. Setting up the room, getting his favorite lotion and crèmes, turning on the heating pad for sustained warmth underneath the sheet (after all we do live in Chicago!) and drawing the shades for soothing light I felt anticipation and joy.

Then Freddy Z arrived and received – so appreciative and open. His body could let go, his energies could flow and his Being dropped into a state of peace and pleasure. It was truly a healing and flowing experience, a re-awakening of his body, heart and spirit.

Yes, this kind of gifting we both treasure. And mutually we agreed to make time for more of these kinds of Holiday presents.

For further info on TantraNova and to learn more about the Healing Rituals and Practices go to http://www.tantranova.com

The Healing Powers of the Breath

Freddy Zental here – I am speaking to you after colon surgery I underwent last Monday. For the duration of the surgery I was put completely under anesthesia for a couple of hours. When I resurfaced I found myself with a catheter in my bladder and an intravenous dripper for feeding and hydration, antibiotics and pain medication. I felt so out of it, drowsy, dizzy and sick to my stomach. However soon into my hospital stay they also provided me with a breathing device to assist in strengthening my lungs after the artificial breathing support with a tube during surgery.

There was nothing of the usual distractions – like food, walking around, talking on the phone, being on the computer, working out. Taking moment by moment I went inside. For 24 hours I kept focusing on my breathing expanding my belly as much the stitches in my colon and belly allowed. That kept me present. The breath was my bridge between my body and my soul, between the physical pain and staying peaceful.

Within 24 hours I was up and walking – with my machinery of feeding and pain killing devices on my arm – down the corridor of the hospital floor. The walking and the conscious breathing kept my circulation going.

Something that might seem horrible, painful and confining showed up for me as coming to peace in myself no matter the circumstances. The breath once again saw me through. I returned to stillness.

BREATHING PRACTICE

Here is a breathing practice I do frequently by myself and teach in my private sessions and group workshops. I am offering this to you so you can come back to stillness and peace within:

- Sit comfortably on a chair or a cushion on the floor

- Place your right hand on your abdomen on the navel area

- Take in a deep breath and let your belly expand into your hand

- On the exhalation notice the falling of your belly

- When you are ready take in a deep breath again notice your belly expanding into your hand

- Exhale deeply and feel your belly falling and letting go

- Continue in this pattern of breathing for 15 – 20 breaths

- Then remove your hand and follow the wave of your breath coming and going - notice your belly rising with the inhalation and falling with the exhalation

- Stay with yourself for a moment longer and notice how you and your body feel now

Write us at tantranova@tantranova.com with further questions or thoughts on the breath, how it works and what difference it could make in your life. For further info on TantraNova go to http://www.tantranova.com

Much to do About TantraNova Man

Last night was Theater Night at TantraNova. My one-man show starts out with: …… “I am TantraNova Man!!! Just kidding! I am Freddy and really a tall black guy.”

So today I’d like to give you a taste of what the show is all about. Even if you can’t attend since you live in L.A., Memphis, Rome, or Santiago you can get a glimpse of it here by reading the interview Elsbeth did with me:

Elsbeth: How did you come to create your “TantraNova Man” show?

Freddy Z: I wanted to share with people in an entertaining and inspiring way how TantraNova lives and works for me in my life. I am weaving storytelling with singing, dancing, telling jokes and playing my drums – all to express how the impacting moments in my life starting at the age of five through adulthood have shaped who I am today.

Elsbeth: Any breakthrough that you experienced since starting the play?

Freddy Z: Yes, I always wished I could sing. Until I started the play I firmly believed that I couldn’t sing. I remember as a kid that I was told I’d better keep my mouth shut when it came to singing. As a grownup every time I would listen to Kurt Elling or Carol King or Satchmo I wished I could sing. Three years ago when deciding to do my play I made a pact with myself to learn how to sing. So I took lessons and started to practice and developed my voice. And now I am having a lot of fun performing songs by the great masters while accompanying myself on my jimbai drum, congas or handsonic (my electronic instrument).

Elsbeth: What’s your favorite part in your play?

Freddy Z: The story about the time when I was 13 years old discovering my first orgasm. This was a most exhilarating moment. I thought ‘it doesn’t get any better than this! I never have to leave my room again! I don’t have to take out the garbage anymore! And I was wondering why the teachers in school never had taught us about this?’

What I see now is how much that sexual lusting energy ran me for a long time - falling in and out of love experiencing lots of drama. Looking at it from my present day perspective I find it rather comical – however in my youth and young adulthood it was exhilarating, serious, heart wrenching ……!

Elsbeth: What else do you like about the play?

Freddy Z: I get to do all the things that I love to do: I get to sing, get to play my drums, get to touch people’s hearts with my stories, get to laugh in a group and I’m having fun.

To find out about future show dates please go to TantraNova Man: An Experiential Show or the Special Events section on www.tantranova.com. I also invite you to write me at freddy@tantranova.com.

What’s a TantraNova Practitioner?

Here is Dr E from TantraNova central. This morning I was sitting at my computer working on putting down on paper particular practices that we teach in our seminars and private session program. Over the past year I have been committed to replicating my coaching skills and the results I produce when coaching students. What I mean by that is that any student who gets trained in our practitioner program can – if they apply themselves – produce the same coaching results as I do with their clients, beloveds or friends.

The purpose of my intention is for TantraNova as an approach to become accessible and teachable independently from me. I am of the conviction that this would be a powerful way of making a difference in the world to create conscious relationship, sexuality and intimacy!

The coaching practices I am talking about are of different nature and one set of them we named “Recall Practice”. A “Recall Practice” allows a student or client to explore what drives their present day behavior, emotions, constraints or struggles as they relate to intimacy, relationship, love, sexuality, womanhood, manhood, the feminine or the masculine, and so forth. Most of what we think about, do or act upon in our present life was learned and appropriated at an early time originating from infancy, childhood or adolescence.

It looks like that: If I find myself over and over again in the same pattern of relational, sexual, intimate or love struggles it’s an indication that “my radio dial” is set at a certain frequency. If I want to change something in my life I need to change the dial setting. First I need to get what my dial is set for – and the “Recall Practice” is a great way to learn about that.

The past generations of our certification graduates have helped and supported me in my own development as an intimacy and relationship coach. Within the next week we’ll have a dedicated page up on www.tantranova.com representing a number of TantraNova practitioners. Please take a look at who they are!

By the way if you’d like to learn more about how to apply and share the “Recall Practice” you may want to look into our Certification Level I & Certification Level II certification programs. The next round starts March 9, 2008.

Write us at tantranova@tantranova.com with further questions or thoughts on your “dial setting” and what you’d like to change in your setting so you can get what you want in your life. http://www.tantranova.com

A Story on Intimacy

Did you, by any chance, listen this past week to Terri Gross’ interview with Peter Sagal, the host of the NPR news quiz Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me? Lately, Peter has spent many an hour going to strip joints, a swingers club, a porn-movie set and casinos — among other dens of what some call iniquity. All research, of course, for his new project, The Book of Vice. He wanted to get a perspective on the indulgences of others, and report back to the rest of us.

The book reminds me of a time in the early days of TantraNova when Freddy Zental and I were contacted by a couple that runs annual swinger conventions serving hundreds of couples from all across the US. We agreed to offer a workshop and thought teaching Tantra to swingers would be a piece of cake because – so we thought – inhibitions, embarrassment or fear regarding one’s body, nudity, etc. were let go of.

Our workshop was attended by some thirty couples and we taught them about the TantraNova basics as well as the healing ritual for the woman. Halfway through the workshop we invited the participants and giving them a choice to do sexual healing work with their partner. Half of the couples stayed on while half of them left.

In the evening, on the way to the dinner ball, a couple came up to us. The woman introduced herself and her husband who had been married for 12 years and swinging for eight. She placed her right hand on Freddy Zental’s arm, looked at us and said: “You two were fabulous. I liked so much what you were doing with us in the workshop. However, I could not stay when you asked us to do sexual healing work with my husband because I was afraid of what I might see if I gazed into his eyes.”

My jaw dropped. It took me a while to compose myself. I looked at her and was wondering about all that sexual freedom and expression she had been involved in though being truly intimate and deeply connected with her husband was something to be afraid of?

Share your experiences and thoughts on the topic of intimacy. Write to us at tantranova@tantranova.com. http://www.tantranova.com