The Tiger Phenomenon – Chasing the Illusion

Much has been written about Tiger Woods - ranging from psychological analysis to speculation to moralistic assessment. Blame has been placed: It was Tiger's fault; the mistresses were seductresses or his wife was the victim. Who was the predator or the prey? Tiger is from Mars, Elin is from Venus.

The question I'd like to pose is: What can we learn about our cultural conditioning regarding marriage, love, intimacy, fulfillment, happiness ....that is not unique to Tiger and his relationships but rather plays out as an archetypal structure of the human evolution.

Looking from the view of Quantum physics, where particles (or people) are electromagnetically interconnected, we could say that participants within a certain system like relationships, families, communities, organizations, etc., are interconnected. Nothing happens in isolation.

Translating this into Tiger's situation - the interconnectedness between all players becomes apparent: Each of them played their role according to their consciousness. The level of consciousness has to do with what we see or don't see about ourselves. The less I see about myself the more unconscious I am.

The most immediate test for identifying the level of one's consciousness lies in the observation of the results one's actions and behaviors produce. When breakdowns and suffering show up in our relationship(s) we know that those are indicators of unconsciousness. So, how can we shift from unconsciousness (blindness about oneself) to consciousness?

I call this form of blindness in relationship living in an illusion. One core illusion in the relational context is driven by a desire for being loved, approved of, or feeling satisfied. There is a sense of need or a needy feeling. The expectation is that the fulfillment of the desires is attained through someone, something or some circumstance. As long as the illusion remains obscured and unexamined the chase for fulfilling the desire sustains. Moments of excitement and high might be experienced in a fleeting way yet lasting happiness, joy and intimacy are unattainable.

However, there is no cheese down that tunnel. Fulfillment in sex, intimacy, love, relationship or marriage is not available through another or a circumstance. Fulfillment resides within - and that's the re-discovery for us as human beings. This re-discovery of an original state of being will open the possibility for bliss. And this bliss can then be shared with another versus longed for to be sourced by another.

The Tiger phenomenon is a reminder for where we are in our human evolution and a call to examine the illusions each of us might live in. We choose to what extent we are ready and willing to evolve. Frequently the reaching of a critical point of pain is the wake-up call overriding the long held need for secrecy or pretense. The signal could be the SUV hitting the fire hydrant in the early morning hours, the discovery of voice messages or finding out not to not be the only mistress.

Upon the wake-up call, all players - husband, wife and mistresses - have now a tremendous opportunity to evolve themselves according to their wish for consciousness and level of self-generated fulfillment they aspire towards. As a consequence of stepping out of illusion into consciousness, suffering within oneself and in relationship diminishes and ultimately disappears.

Dr. Elsbeth Meuth is an internationally renowned seminar leader, intimacy expert and relationship coach. She co-produced the best-selling DVD series Creating Intimacy & Love Creating Intimacy & Love., and is the co-founder and director of the TantraNova Institute in Chicago. Over the last decade she has assisted hundreds of couples and singles expand their intimate and love life. She and her partner were featured on Showtime’s documentary Sexual Healing.

To learn more about creating lasting intimacy go to www.tantranova.com

TantraNova at Kripalu

Hello everybody - thankfulness and appreciation!

Well, it's been a couple weeks since our first three day seminar retreat "Secrets to lasting intimacy" and "TantraNova Man" show at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. First of all … everything was fabulous. We were met at the airport upon our arrival by a wonderful driver who let us know if there was anything we needed just to please let him know. Yea, I remembered that I needed a basketball for a scene in my show -- and for sure in a couple of minutes he got me this little pink girl's ball which worked beautifully.

At the check-in desk we were met by our program coordinator and her boss, then shown to our beautiful room with a great lake view. The grounds at Kripalu are absolutely breath taking. If you haven't visited there yet then put it on your list of things to do in 2010.

Shortly after getting situated in our room we were introduced to our seminar assistant and taken to the session space… it was very spacious, chairs for 30 participants set up, a great sound system, and more. The three-day seminar retreat was an absolute success all around: there were openings, breakthroughs and aha moments! It felt like the nine years of Elsbeth's and my teaching all came together in one synergistic time capsule at Kripalu!

Saturday was a long teaching day and very rewarding! That evening I had the opportunity to perform my TantraNova Man show. Once again we were assigned a, A/V specialist to see us through… he had a wonderful way with people and lots of sound experience. We couldn't have done the show without his technical assistance.

We were set up to do the show in their new annex building absolutely beautiful, wooden floors great lighting the perfect space. There were 200 people in attendance, lots of laughs, and the message of the show opened things up for people. People came up after the show saying that the show reminded them of why they came to Kripalu in the first place: rediscovering peace, the creative Self within and an intimate familiarity with intimacy!

My personal experience of doing the show is that when I am in front of a group of people there is a tremendous opportunity to transform space and distance and connect to the power of the oneness.

We are looking forward to teaching and performing at Kripalu again sometime in the future!

Love & Light, Zental

TantraNova Man Show

Aloha this is Zental!

Over this last year I've had the opportunity to travel around the country performing my one-man show "TantrNova Man"! One of the things I see is the relevance of this story to many of the people in the audiences. It has reassured me that there is something in the show that resonates in all of us....life force energy!

I named myself Zental about four years ago, it came out of the moments that I embody the highest ideals of our TantraNova practices and teachings, conscious and a full belly breath, present to this very moment of now not in my mind's illusion of a memory, a future plan, or an opinion about what's happening ... mindless consciousness creativity and joy as a way of being.

Zental is a character in my TantraNova Man show who is a Tantra teacher in Africa who in the storyline gives me my first exposure to learning how to draw on sexual energy as a pathway to creativity and joy as a fundamental way of living and being in all areas of life. The show starts with my life at the age of five through the current, good times and bad, it is a hero's journey searching for the secrets to sexual intelligence.

The show is entertaining,humorous, and full of songs and drumming at the same time educating...I like to call it edutainment ideally opening up a new possibility for the uninitiated and inspiring those who are more familiar with the path of consciousness through sexual awareness. What is new about sexual intelligence as I share it in the show is the systemic relationship of creativity and joy that is a primordial fundamental piece to sexual energy. And that one can learn practices of consciousness, focus and intention that will manifest more creativity and joy in areas of life that seemed completely unrelated to sex. One can become more intimately familiar with intimacy ... trusting what feels good and right emotionally, mentally, energetically and physically in work, life and love... allowing a fuller unique expression and contribution in the world not totally buying into the left brain rationalize suffering mind, like "well that's the way it is and there's nothing I can do".

We all have the potential to make a difference in this evolving humanity that we are ... begin and continue to make yours.
With an Open Heart, Zental

What’s Happiness got to do with it ... women, life and pleasure? Try the Tantric Approach!!!

The illusiveness of happiness! What a rat race to find it and then if you were lucky to get it how to keep it. Marcus Buckingham’s research and findings in HuffPost based on his paper "The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness" inspired me to reflect on my own progression in life to happiness and on the happiness of the hundreds of women I have worked with over the past 10 years as an intimacy and relationship coach.

What’s happiness anyway? The older I have grown the happier I have become. And that does not just have to do with that I now own a business, making a difference in the lives of women and men, and being in the most inspiring relationship with my Beloved and business partner. That’s rather a result of something else.

After all happiness is a state of being! And how did I arrive at that state of being? For me this occurred through two major life experiences that awoke me to that state: One experience had to do with “accepting “what is” at the present moment and declaring that I choose to be happy which I learned through Buddhist meditation at Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village. That philosophy is totally in line with what Buckingham identifies in his findings: “The women who could answer positively to the questions [regarding happiness] …, simply decided that they were going to be happy. They made that choice.”

The other experience had to do with “weaving” or Tantra. O.K. – what did I learn about weaving? It was about reintegrating my feminine with my masculine or the yin with the yang that is frequently out of balance for women living in this time and age. Most of us have learned to develop our masculine side that is required to compete and make it in the world. Great capacity to have! However, if my feminine got dwarfed because of the dominant orientation towards achieving in the worldly dimension I am just not whole any longer.

Here is what Tantra-Kundalini.com says about the feminine and masculine: ”According to the philosophy of Tantra, the entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the universe, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other.

One aspect, Shiva, is masculine, retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifested consciousness. Shiva has the power to be but not the power to become or change. The other aspect, Shakti, is feminine, dynamic, energetic and creative. Shakti is the Great Mother of the universe, for it is from her that all form is born.

According to Tantra, the human being is a miniature universe. All that is found in the cosmos can be found within each individual, and the same principles that apply to the universe apply in the case of the individual being.”

The aspects of feminine and masculine show up in women just as they do in men. However, they are not merely to be considered as gender qualifications. To illuminate the principles further take a look at this chart and locate yourself on the right or left in various areas of your life: family, intimate relationship, work and career, body, hobbies, etc:

Masculine / Feminine
Creative Focus / Creative flow
Purposeful presence / Open and connected
Desire for truth / Desire for sourcing and sustaining
Oriented towards vision and goals / Oriented towards love and care
In one’s mind and focused / In one’s emotions & flow
Emotion of compassion / Emotion of trust & gratitude
Looking at life from the outside / Looking at things from within
Fear of failure in life / Fear of rejection & loss of love
Work before intimacy / Intimacy before work
Doing Being / Giving Receiving

Reintegrating the feminine with the masculine, the spiritual with the sensuous, the body with the soul, the giving with the receiving wholeness shows up. Experiencing wholeness is the source of feeling pleasure, joy and yes, HAPPINESS!!! It’s up to each woman to return to that wholeness. The tantric practice provides a guide to that wholeness as shown by transformative shifts in many women who have worked with me here at TantraNova.

Looking forward to your comments and thoughts abut this topic of happiness! Elsbeth

Sex Magic - Fuel your Dreams into Reality

Sex Magic! What is it? How does it work? Actually, does it really work? It's been talked about and practiced in some places on the globe for millennia. Yet what relevance and implications does it have for us today?

I came across sex magic in the context of my tantric studies and teacher training a number of years ago. That is when I learned about the power of sexual energy as creative force and how to cultivate and channel that energy. I learned to marry my orgasmic energy with an intention to manifest what I wanted to bring into reality.

The business of creating our reality has been of course brought into the spot light via the popularization of the "Law of Attraction" through the movie "The Secret" as promoted by modern success leaders such as Jack Canfield, Abraham Hicks, Joe Vitale, and many others. While these leaders teach about how to direct desire and raise emotional vibration in order to achieve one's goal, they don't speak, however, "to the power of sexual desire used to fuel to have our wildest dreams come true. This is the secret beyond the secret: sex magic", as my colleagues and friends, Baba Dez Nichols and Kamala Devi, wrote in their book "Sexual Healing: The Shaman Method of Sex Magic."

So let's look more deeply at what's meant by sex magic. Baba Dez' and Kamala's take on it is that "... sex magic is a spiritual practice that uses sexual desire to manifest tangible effect in the physical world. One of the most powerful experiences that we have as human beings is orgasmic energy, and if we can pair it with intent, then we can direct the most powerful manifesting force available on earth."

Let's listen to another master in the field of sex magic - she wrote a whole book on it, called "The Art of Sexual Magic". The author of course is Margo Anand, one of the pioneers of the modern Tantra movement in the West. She writes: "... basic principles of sexual magic [are]: generating sexual energy as a fuel, or power, for making magic and realizing your personal goals. ..... by planting the seeds of your deepest desires in states of heightened orgasm you create the alchemy through which they become reality....."

In this post I'd like to offer a practical approach to Sex Magic so you at home can explore via solo or partner practice as you see fit. The steps I am suggesting here for your sex magic ritual apply to both, doing the practice by yourself or with your partner.

Here we go:

1. Create a space where you are undisturbed for an hour. This is a time is for you to cherish yourself and your partner. Make this a sacred ritual: set the room up with candles and flowers; have your favorite music playing supporting a serene and meditative space.

2. Come into conscious breathing in a sitting position. The breath allows energy to flow effortlessly throughout your body and between partners. The breath assists in channeling your sexual energy in the sex magic ritual. (To learn more about conscious breathing you may want to check out TantraNova's Foundational Practices CD). If you are with your partner breathe together in a synchronized way.

3. Set an intention! Reflect on what you'd like to create in your life, work, family, intimate relationship with yourself or with your partner. Give yourself time to become clear. Listen to each other intentions if you are sharing this experience with your partner. Acknowledge any concern, fears or discomfort you may experience. By acknowledging what's there for you often lessens the charge. This allows for a sense of being heard and feeling safe.

4. To raise your energy lie down and come back to conscious breathing. Breathe your energy from your sexual center up to your crown center on the inhalation and back down and out again on the exhalation. Touch yourself or each other to arouse your senses and energy. Keep listening to yourself and to each other. Keep breathing while circulating your energy within yourself as well as with your partner.

5. Let the orgasmic energy flow without climaxing. While riding the wave of orgasmic flow and joy call in your intention of what you'd like to create in your life. Imbue your intention with your orgasmic life force energy. Stay in that flow as long as you like and can. The ritual is particularly powerful if you don't climax. This way the energy gets channeled into your creation.

6. Slow down! Come to stillness! Keep breathing and circulating within or with your partner.

7. Upon completion acknowledge to yourself or share with your partner how you feel and what's shown up for you.

To learn more about conscious breathing and circulating sexual energy you may want to check out TantraNova's Foundational Practice CD and The Discovery of Sexual-Spiritual Connection DVD

Any comments, thoughts, questions? Scroll down and use the Comment section to connect. We'd love to engage with you! Dr. Elsbeth Meuth or Freddy Zental at TantraNova.com

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Secrets to Lasting Intimacy: Ancient Tantric Wisdom transforms Modern Love

Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism, North American Quodoshka, and others, hold secrets to creating fulfilling love and intimacy that are not known to the Western world. One of these ancient traditions is Tantra which was born over 5000 years ago in East India and practiced by people that called themselves tantriks or tantrikas. You might wonder “What is it and how does it work?”

Here is a taste of what it’s all about: In the Western world we look at our bodies, relationships and life in a way that is often compartmentalized. For example, we think of sexuality being separate from spirituality – as manifested in our bodies and our practices. In Tantra a possibility is offered that teaches how to integrate one’s sexual with one’s spiritual energies. This allows for a divine experience with oneself and ultimately with a partner. Rediscovering our innate energies that are sexual-spiritual in nature we then are able to express ourselves more fully – free from constraints and habitual patterns, e.g., shame, guilt, fear, suppression or obsession. And this in turn allows us to experience our full potential of pleasure and creativity.

In learning about Tantra many years ago I experienced a big opening namely the connection and integration of my pleasure self with my divine being. This rediscovery is one of the fundamental breakthroughs Tantra offers and now I witness these breakthroughs in our students at the TantraNova Institute all the time.

How does it happen? In the TantraNova approach we use the breath, energy awareness, meditation and healing practices with disciplines based in human development, generative language and creative self discovery. The breath is the key to activate and move energy including aroused energy. Through specific breathing exercises you can learn to connect the lower energy centers (related to feeling centered and save as well as pleasure and joy) with the higher energy centers (related to feeling love and spiritual connection). To get a first hand experience of “energetic flow” try this solo practice:

Sit in a comfortable position

- Take in a deep breath and feel your belly rising on the inhalation and falling on the exhalation.

- Put your right hand on your belly below your navel (this is your creative energy center), and your left hand in the middle of your chest (this is your heart or love energy center).

- Take in a deep breath, expanding your belly into your right hand and then breathe up into your chest into your left hand.

- On the inhalation feel your energetic breath moving from your right hand on the “Creation Center” up into your left hand on the “Heart Center”

- On the exhalation visualize sending the energetic breath from your “Heart Center”, the left hand, down into your “Creation Center”, the right hand.

- Continue in this breathing pattern for eight breaths

- Slowly take your hands off and let them rest in your lap.

- Stay with your breath and the connection between your Creation and Heart centers. Notice how you feel right now.

- Come back by opening your eyes.

Creating intimacy has all to do with being aware of where desire originates from. Tantric tradition holds that men and women approach sex and intimate relationships in fundamentally different ways. For men, sexual energy originates in the sexual center, while for women it originates in the heart. The result is a big disconnect: He’s feeling it here, she is feeling it there, and eventually no one’s feeling it anywhere. Tantra comes to the rescue by helping you get on the same wavelength.

Therefore we teach men to channel and master their sexual energy by integrating their sexual with their heart energy. Thus they become present and available to more deeply connecting with themselves and their partner. Women learn how to open their heart so their sensual intimate self can receive and trust.

We are all full of sexual energy – it’s our life force energy, also called chi in the Tao tradition and Kundalini in the tantric tradition. It’s our most profound life source – part of what created us, and the key to helping us achieve our dreams, including better relationships. Unfortunately, most of us have no idea what to do with that energy. The tantric practice allows us to learn how to use our sexual creative energy as a doorway to our most intimate spiritual, emotional and physical selves.