Women, Sex and Evolution

It’s said that the feminine is rising.  While having developed their 'masculine' capacities over the past 50 years since the onset of the women’s movement, women are re-connecting with their 'feminine' essence.  However, women are often still socialized to be ashamed of their sexuality.  So what can a woman do to fully balance her whole being?  What is her role in the planet’s conscious evolution of the sexual-spiritual integrated human?

Deborah Sundahl points out in her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, “Society considers it ‘not okay’ for women to be sexual in their own right.  Despite a national media that talks about every conceivable aspect of sex, most American woman over the age of forty were raised with the belief that ‘good girls are not sexual.’  Younger women, raised with the influence of cable TV’s new explicitness… have taken the notion of ‘bad girl’ and made a public display of it, yet still the legacy of the good girl lingers, and it inhibits most women’s ability to let go and enjoy.”

How can the 21st Century woman reclaim and embrace her sexual self, discovering its extraordinary power, while being integrated in her feminine and masculine nature.  Here are some tips to get started:

1.    Become the witness to your beliefs

No change can happen without awareness, so looking at your long held beliefs is an important first step to reclaiming your sexuality.  Begin to witness the unconscious negative beliefs you hold, whether it be from childhood, religion, media, or etc.  Notice that many of these beliefs were passed down generation to generation for millennia. You can choose to create new, supportive beliefs about yourself, your body, and your sexuality.

What separates us from the beasts is our ability to be self-reflective or aware of our own existence, what we call “the witness state of mind.” This uniquely human capacity allows us to rise above the biological miracle of ourselves and recognize that we are at choice in how we live, feel, and act, including our sexual beingness.

2.    Embrace passion and desire

All of us have a current of sexual life force energy – also referred to as “chi” – running through our bodies at all times.  In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, Mantak Chia & Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD explain:

“Desire is a rich and potent part of our human experience… To be passionate is to be full of chi.  The English words ‘desire’ or ‘passion’ connote a feeling of yearning and fervor that includes sex, but they also reflect our strongest feelings about life.  When we are passionate about anything – our family, our work, our spirituality, an important social cause – we are investing our chi in this experience.  Our passion is what moves us to action and ultimately is what gives us joy.  We are passionate about the things that matter most to us.”

To embrace this energy is to embrace life itself.  As we learn to honor our sexuality, we also can draw on that sexual energy to enrich our lives as a whole.  By learning to embrace passion and desire, we can bring more fulfillment and joy into our entire lives.

3.    Know your “parts”

Many women expect their partner to know how to please them without knowing for themselves!  Knowing yourself and your anatomy is an important step towards embracing your sexuality.

Female sexual anatomy has been a bit of a mystery throughout history, especially in terms of how women experience pleasure and orgasm.  For example, it is widely accepted that the clitoris is an external organ only.  In Eve’s Secrets, Josephine Lowndes Sevely examines this history and reveals “…the female clitoris has deeper structures under the skin.  These deeper structures are the organ’s two legs like parts that run along the lower part of the pubic bones at either side of the lower vagina between the inner thighs.”

The G-Spot is another area of the female body that is still the source of some confusion.  In Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, Deborah Sundahl explains, “The G-Spot is defined as both the prostate and a network of erectile tissue similar to that found in a male penis.”  She goes on to say, “The G-spot, not the clitoris, is center stage as the area of a woman’s genitals in which she can experience the greatest and most diverse amount of erotic pleasure.”

In addition to the above resources, experimenting with yourself to see what feels good is another great way to get to know your “parts!”

4.    Exercise your love muscle

The pubococcygeus muscle, or the “PC” muscle, is the muscle group that makes up and supports the pelvic floor of the body.  Mantak Chia and Maneewan Chia explain in Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy, “…With the exception of sexual intercourse, few exercises strengthen the crucial pelvic muscles.  Pelvic exercises do exist which can increase CHI in these areas, thereby greatly strengthening the reproductive organs and the complex network of tendons surrounding them.”  

In both men and women, the PC muscle serves important functions in supporting the inner organs including preventing incontinence, maintaining reproductive health, enhancing pleasurable sexual experiences, and increasing aliveness for the woman.

Make it a daily habit to exercise your love muscle and learn to coordinate it with your inhale and exhale. If you’d like to be guided through this practice get our Foundational Practices CD.

5.    Transform desire into rocket fuel

Once you’ve connected to and embraced your sexuality, learn to use this energy to fuel all parts of your life.  In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, Mantak Chia & Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD lay out many healing techniques and  meditation and breathing practices that can help draw your precious energy up through your body instead of losing it through menstruation or intercourse.  These techniques include becoming aware of the “Microcosmic Orbit” which is a “basic energetic pathway of the body…. “When you circulate sexual energy through the Microcosmic Orbit, you transform your desire into your energetic ‘rocket fuel’ and enhance your vitality.”

Other techniques can be found in our book, Sexual Enlightenment.  These practices include an array of solo and partner exercises such as Yin Yang: Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy and Heart-to-Heart connection:  Partner Spooning.

This is an exciting time for women to honor and hone their feminine essence and play an instrumental part in shifting the planet’s evolution towards balancing the feminine and masculine in all spheres of life.

Rediscovering Your Feminine Self

The spirit of femininity is generous, graceful, nurturing, supportive, sensitive, intuitive, and oriented towards love and care.  Despite all of these wonderful attributes, feminine energy, especially as it pertains to sexuality, has been suppressed, condemned, and vilified on a global scale for thousands of years. It is no wonder, then, that so often we associate shame, fear, and guilt with sex and sexuality.  Through reawakening our feminine energy, we can learn to celebrate our femininity in all its forms and bring greater joy and intimacy into our lives and with ourselves.

Reintegrating our spiritual and sexual selves is an important first step in rediscovering our feminine self.  Our culture’s separation of these two aspects may be an ill-conceived view and therefore counter to fostering well-being, health, and joy in our bodies, hearts, and spirits. When we bring conscious awareness to the integration of the sexual with the spiritual and the spiritual with the sexual, we return to a sense of wholeness within.

In order to allow healing to occur, we at TantraNova have developed a particular healing practice for the woman that provides her with a rediscovery of her sexual-spiritual connection by teaching her to clear blocks, residual memories, and views that no longer serve her. The word healing is used here in terms of letting go of what keeps her from being fully integrated and whole. She might get in touch with experiences from earlier times in her life that might trigger an emotional process. Energetic blocks, memories, or unpleasant feelings that may have been stored as residual memories on the cellular level of the yoni or vaginal walls may be released so healing can occur and the experience of unity, joy, and harmony within herself can show up. 

When Kristy came to TantraNova, she had been afflicted by gynecological complications such as recurring yeast infections for many years, which made intercourse extremely painful. She shared that she felt like a “broken” woman and wanted to explore ways in which she could express her sexual self despite her physical concerns. She entered the TantraNova woman’s healing workshop feeling nervous, uptight, scared to open up, and afraid to trust. When it came to choosing a partner for the homework healing practice, she partnered with a most supportive and attentive man. She experienced him as patient and felt that she could slowly open up and begin to trust.

The most impactful experience of the healing ritual was that for the first time Kristy felt her male partner was simply present with and for her, absent of any agenda of his own or expectations of her. Being in this space of acceptance and presence, she could let go of the guilt and shame connected with her yoni and release her sadness and frustration with the pain she had been experiencing. Following the workshop, Kristy felt a sense of aliveness, an inner groundedness, and a new found confidence she had not had before. To her great surprise, a lot of her physical pelvic pain subsided along with the frequent headaches that had plagued her.

Learn more about the rediscovery of your feminine and more at www.tantranova.com.

About Dr. Elsbeth Meuth
Dr. Elsbeth Meuth is the co-founder and director of the TantraNova Institute in Chicago. She is an internationally renowned workshop leader, relationship and intimacy coach, and a certified Tantra yoga teacher. She is the co-author of Sexual Enlightenment: How to Create Lasting Fulfillment in Life, Love and Intimacy (January 2014) and co-produced with her partner, Freddy Zental Weaver, the bestselling DVD series Creating Intimacy & Love. They were featured on Showtime’s documentary series Sexual Healing and the Emmy award-winning NBC show Starting Over.

The Dance of Feminine & Masculine

Last weekend was the Air & Water Show in Chicago. It's Elsbeth speaking: On my walk by Lake Michigan last Sunday I arrived just in time for getting a "front row seat" near Belmont Harbor to watch the acrobatic and exhilarating configurations the Blue Angels were performing.

Focused and channeled energy – in terms of the engineering capacity of the jet planes as well as the pilots who fly them! Masculine energy at its best! Flow and attuned coordination – in terms of flying together superbly as a team! Feminine energy at its best!

I am always in awe when watching this Air Force team. I am reminded of the beauty of the integration and dance of the feminine and masculine, the Yin and the Yang, both within oneself as well as between people.

When I find myself befallen by anger, blame, disappointment, feeling sorry for myself, etc., I remember to return myself to coming into balance of the feminine and masculine by ruminating on the polarities of Yin and Yang such as:

Soft / Strong
Creative / Intentional
Receiving / Giving
Playful / Grounded
Listening / Speaking
Circular / Linear
Sensitive and intuitive / Self-disciplined
ETC.

This brings me back to my peaceful, centered and joyous Self. Go try this practice. It will work for you as well!!!

Enjoy the ruminating!
 

P.S. Freddy Zental sends his greetings from his motor cycle freedom ride in Wisconsin this weekend. 
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UPCOMING TantraNova WORKSHOPS & PROGRAMS

PRIVATE PROGRAMS AND RETREATS
For Couples
For Singles

Be Optimal: INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP
August 20 7:00-9:00pm     Glenview, IL  
http://beoptimal.com/secrets-to-lasting-intimacy/   
 
INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOPS at TantraNova
Introductory Workshops September 6 / October 2 / November 7  
http://www.tantranova.com/intimacy-tantra-programs/intimacy-workshop-introductions.html

CREATING INTIMACY & LOVE: Beginner Level For Couples & Singles
August 25 / October 20
http://www.tantranova.com/intimacy-tantra-programs/intimacy-workshops-beginner.html

TANTRIC MASSAGE WORKSHOP
August 26 / September 29
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WORKSHOP FOR MEN
THE POWER OF COMPASSION IN THE MASCULINE
September 15
http://www.tantranova.com/intimacy-tantra-programs/workshops-for-men.html

CREATION YOGA CLASS with Michelle Fiore
September 20 7-8:30pm
A fusion of traditional posture practice (asana) with elements of Hatha and Tantric Yoga. Please call 773-525-5006 to register.

SEXUAL ENLIGHTENMENT - A One-Man Show
September 30  8-9:30pm with reception following the performance
http://www.tantranova.com/tantranova-theatre.html

WORKSHOP RETREATS FOR COUPLES & SINGLES: Beginner/Intermediate
FULFILLMENT, VITALITY & PLEASURE: Sustaining Masculine Energy & Pleasure
September 21-23   
SECRETS TO LASTING INTIMACY: Re-awakening Feminine Energ y & Joy   
November 2-4
http://www.tantranova.com/intimacy-tantra-programs/intimacy-workshops-beginner-intermediate.html

WORKSHOPS FOR WOMEN
Feminine Essence: Explore the Power of the Divine Feminine
Level I   October 6/7
Level II  December 1/2
http://www.tantranova.com/intimacy-tantra-programs/workshops-for-women.html

THEATRE WORKSHOP: BREAKTHROUGH TO YOUR FULL SELF-EXPRESSION
January 12, 2013
http://www.tantranova.com/intimacy-tantra-programs/breakthrough-workshop.html

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TantraNova at the WEST COAST of the United States
TANTRANOVA AT ESALEN, BIG SUR, CALIFORNIA
November 11-16
February 10-15
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TantraNova at the EAST COAST of the United States
TANTRANOVA AT KRIPALU, Western Massachusetts
New Year's Eve - Workshop and Ecstatic Puja
December 30-January 1
http://kripalu.org/program/view/TYRP-121/tantra_yoga_new_years_retreat_and_puja_experience

What’s Happiness got to do with it ... women, life and pleasure? Try the Tantric Approach!!!

The illusiveness of happiness! What a rat race to find it and then if you were lucky to get it how to keep it. Marcus Buckingham’s research and findings in HuffPost based on his paper "The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness" inspired me to reflect on my own progression in life to happiness and on the happiness of the hundreds of women I have worked with over the past 10 years as an intimacy and relationship coach.

What’s happiness anyway? The older I have grown the happier I have become. And that does not just have to do with that I now own a business, making a difference in the lives of women and men, and being in the most inspiring relationship with my Beloved and business partner. That’s rather a result of something else.

After all happiness is a state of being! And how did I arrive at that state of being? For me this occurred through two major life experiences that awoke me to that state: One experience had to do with “accepting “what is” at the present moment and declaring that I choose to be happy which I learned through Buddhist meditation at Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village. That philosophy is totally in line with what Buckingham identifies in his findings: “The women who could answer positively to the questions [regarding happiness] …, simply decided that they were going to be happy. They made that choice.”

The other experience had to do with “weaving” or Tantra. O.K. – what did I learn about weaving? It was about reintegrating my feminine with my masculine or the yin with the yang that is frequently out of balance for women living in this time and age. Most of us have learned to develop our masculine side that is required to compete and make it in the world. Great capacity to have! However, if my feminine got dwarfed because of the dominant orientation towards achieving in the worldly dimension I am just not whole any longer.

Here is what Tantra-Kundalini.com says about the feminine and masculine: ”According to the philosophy of Tantra, the entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the universe, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other.

One aspect, Shiva, is masculine, retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifested consciousness. Shiva has the power to be but not the power to become or change. The other aspect, Shakti, is feminine, dynamic, energetic and creative. Shakti is the Great Mother of the universe, for it is from her that all form is born.

According to Tantra, the human being is a miniature universe. All that is found in the cosmos can be found within each individual, and the same principles that apply to the universe apply in the case of the individual being.”

The aspects of feminine and masculine show up in women just as they do in men. However, they are not merely to be considered as gender qualifications. To illuminate the principles further take a look at this chart and locate yourself on the right or left in various areas of your life: family, intimate relationship, work and career, body, hobbies, etc:

Masculine / Feminine
Creative Focus / Creative flow
Purposeful presence / Open and connected
Desire for truth / Desire for sourcing and sustaining
Oriented towards vision and goals / Oriented towards love and care
In one’s mind and focused / In one’s emotions & flow
Emotion of compassion / Emotion of trust & gratitude
Looking at life from the outside / Looking at things from within
Fear of failure in life / Fear of rejection & loss of love
Work before intimacy / Intimacy before work
Doing Being / Giving Receiving

Reintegrating the feminine with the masculine, the spiritual with the sensuous, the body with the soul, the giving with the receiving wholeness shows up. Experiencing wholeness is the source of feeling pleasure, joy and yes, HAPPINESS!!! It’s up to each woman to return to that wholeness. The tantric practice provides a guide to that wholeness as shown by transformative shifts in many women who have worked with me here at TantraNova.

Looking forward to your comments and thoughts abut this topic of happiness! Elsbeth

Tantra and Men

Zental here – I am bringing more light today to the relevance of Tantra for men. Tantra is essential in assisting us men in coming back to wholeness and connectedness with our heart, soul and consciousness. One of the fundamental practices for men in Tantra is learning how to separate ejaculation from orgasm. In developing more capacity in conscious breathing, muscle awareness and focus we can begin to unravel the collapse of love, romance, lust, shame, fear and guilt… just to name a few emotional collapses we have with our sexual energy.

In the beginning when I was first introduced to Tantra at the age of 15, the thing that attracted me most was being able to last longer. As I grew older and my understanding and experience in falling in and out of love became broader I became more conscious of owning my own pleasure and feelings which gave me much more freedom in experiencing and letting go. When I am in the sexual energy I am the most open, vulnerable, receptive and loving as I will ever experience in this physical form. Once I developed more capacity in consciousness, focus and my “Observer” or “witness” while in this life giving energy I was able to free myself from the bounds of my unconsciousness, ego attachment and my survival mind. I also got to see and let go old stories and interpretations that no longer served me. In the process I have recognized the intelligence of sexual energy as indicated in creativity, joy and pleasure and how this flows into other areas of my life that seem completely unrelated to sexual energy.

Through practicing Tantra as a man I have discovered more capacity in sinking into that vulnerable, receptive and loving state that happens while being present to my sexual energy. This state of being can be described as “feminine” and the recognition of it has assisted me to be more fully grounded in my “masculine”. This in turn has created more space for my partner to dance in her feminine.

Share your thoughts with me: What has your experience been with the “feminine” and “masculine”. http://www.tantranova.com

The Feminine and the Tantric Practice

How does all of that we have talked about like “breath”, “sexual consciousness”, “energy awareness” in our previous blogs have to do with Tantra? Quite a number of years ago, when I, Dr E from www.TantraNova.com, delved deeper into my tantric studies I had a profound experience, namely a sense of coming back to my wholeness.

You might have seen the July-September 2007 issue of the magazine “What is Enlightenment” (www.wie.org). The theme of the issue is on “women, enlightenment, and the evolution of culture.” I got inspired by a quote from a conversation between Andrew Cohen and Ken Wilbert featured in the magazine: “Women’s liberation – a new women’s liberation – is of the utmost importance if we are ever going to truly effect profound change in our own consciousness and culture at the leading edge.”

My consciousness as a woman got drastically changed out of opening up myself to my creative, feminine being. It had all to do with learning to connect to my life force energy that emanates from my Yoni center. The term Yoni derives from Sanskrit and means “the Sacred Space of a woman” – her feminine sexual center including her genitals and reproductory organs. Relating to my sexual center as a Sacred Space that nurthures me, allows me to be grounded in my feminine essence, and is the well of my creativity altered my Being fundamentally. I gained a new understanding of myself as a woman and a human being as I rediscovered my inner connection of my sensual/sexual being with my emotional, mental and spiritual being. Wholeness within and integrity with myself has become available to me as an ongoing reference point to tap into.

The practice of Tantra allowed me to come into this full integration. By sifting through the blocks and misconception of my relationship with my life force energy, early unpleasant or unresolved experiences and feelings, and learning to breathe into and through my whole Being has allowed me to come home to myself. The tantric practice has taught me to open into my flow of energy that is ever present through the breath and the focus via my inner eye (the Third Eye). The result is being at peace and at home with myself and experiencing a sense of liberation and wholeness from which to act and interact with others and in the world.

I invite you to write me with any questions you may have. To learn more about the way how the breath, energy awareness and connecting with your life force center could support and work for you go to www.tantranova.com.