It’s said that the
feminine is rising. While having developed their 'masculine' capacities
over the past 50 years since the onset of the women’s movement, women
are re-connecting with their 'feminine' essence. However, women are
often still socialized to be ashamed of their sexuality. So what can a
woman do to fully balance her whole being? What is her role in the
planet’s conscious evolution of the sexual-spiritual integrated human?
Deborah
Sundahl points out in her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot,
“Society considers it ‘not okay’ for women to be sexual in their own
right. Despite a national media that talks about every conceivable
aspect of sex, most American woman over the age of forty were raised
with the belief that ‘good girls are not sexual.’ Younger women, raised
with the influence of cable TV’s new explicitness… have taken the
notion of ‘bad girl’ and made a public display of it, yet still the
legacy of the good girl lingers, and it inhibits most women’s ability to
let go and enjoy.”
How can the 21st Century woman reclaim and
embrace her sexual self, discovering its extraordinary power, while
being integrated in her feminine and masculine nature. Here are some
tips to get started:
1. Become the witness to your beliefs
No
change can happen without awareness, so looking at your long held
beliefs is an important first step to reclaiming your sexuality. Begin
to witness the unconscious negative beliefs you hold, whether it be from
childhood, religion, media, or etc. Notice that many of these beliefs
were passed down generation to generation for millennia. You can choose
to create new, supportive beliefs about yourself, your body, and your
sexuality.
What separates us from the beasts is our ability to be
self-reflective or aware of our own existence, what we call “the
witness state of mind.” This uniquely human capacity allows us to rise
above the biological miracle of ourselves and recognize that we are at
choice in how we live, feel, and act, including our sexual beingness.
2. Embrace passion and desire
All
of us have a current of sexual life force energy – also referred to as
“chi” – running through our bodies at all times. In The Multi-Orgasmic
Woman, Mantak Chia & Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD explain:
“Desire
is a rich and potent part of our human experience… To be passionate is
to be full of chi. The English words ‘desire’ or ‘passion’ connote a
feeling of yearning and fervor that includes sex, but they also reflect
our strongest feelings about life. When we are passionate about
anything – our family, our work, our spirituality, an important social
cause – we are investing our chi in this experience. Our passion is
what moves us to action and ultimately is what gives us joy. We are
passionate about the things that matter most to us.”
To embrace
this energy is to embrace life itself. As we learn to honor our
sexuality, we also can draw on that sexual energy to enrich our lives as
a whole. By learning to embrace passion and desire, we can bring more
fulfillment and joy into our entire lives.
3. Know your “parts”
Many
women expect their partner to know how to please them without knowing
for themselves! Knowing yourself and your anatomy is an important step
towards embracing your sexuality.
Female sexual anatomy has been a
bit of a mystery throughout history, especially in terms of how women
experience pleasure and orgasm. For example, it is widely accepted that
the clitoris is an external organ only. In Eve’s Secrets, Josephine
Lowndes Sevely examines this history and reveals “…the female clitoris
has deeper structures under the skin. These deeper structures are the
organ’s two legs like parts that run along the lower part of the pubic
bones at either side of the lower vagina between the inner thighs.”
The
G-Spot is another area of the female body that is still the source of
some confusion. In Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, Deborah Sundahl
explains, “The G-Spot is defined as both the prostate and a network of
erectile tissue similar to that found in a male penis.” She goes on to
say, “The G-spot, not the clitoris, is center stage as the area of a
woman’s genitals in which she can experience the greatest and most
diverse amount of erotic pleasure.”
In addition to the above
resources, experimenting with yourself to see what feels good is another
great way to get to know your “parts!”
4. Exercise your love muscle
The
pubococcygeus muscle, or the “PC” muscle, is the muscle group that
makes up and supports the pelvic floor of the body. Mantak Chia and
Maneewan Chia explain in Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating
Female Sexual Energy, “…With the exception of sexual intercourse, few
exercises strengthen the crucial pelvic muscles. Pelvic exercises do
exist which can increase CHI in these areas, thereby greatly
strengthening the reproductive organs and the complex network of tendons
surrounding them.”
In both men and women, the PC muscle
serves important functions in supporting the inner organs including
preventing incontinence, maintaining reproductive health, enhancing
pleasurable sexual experiences, and increasing aliveness for the woman.
Make
it a daily habit to exercise your love muscle and learn to coordinate
it with your inhale and exhale. If you’d like to be guided through this
practice get our Foundational Practices CD.
5. Transform desire into rocket fuel
Once
you’ve connected to and embraced your sexuality, learn to use this
energy to fuel all parts of your life. In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman,
Mantak Chia & Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD lay out many healing
techniques and meditation and breathing practices that can help draw
your precious energy up through your body instead of losing it through
menstruation or intercourse. These techniques include becoming aware of
the “Microcosmic Orbit” which is a “basic energetic pathway of the
body…. “When you circulate sexual energy through the Microcosmic Orbit,
you transform your desire into your energetic ‘rocket fuel’ and enhance
your vitality.”
Other techniques can be found in our book, Sexual Enlightenment.
These practices include an array of solo and partner exercises such as
Yin Yang: Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy and Heart-to-Heart
connection: Partner Spooning.
This is an exciting time for women
to honor and hone their feminine essence and play an instrumental part
in shifting the planet’s evolution towards balancing the feminine and
masculine in all spheres of life.
