Silver Linings on the Horizon as Rape Atrocities in India Get Revealed

“Four men were convicted Tuesday in the rape and murder of a twenty-three year-old woman who was attacked when she boarded a bus in New Delhi last December, bringing a bitter close to a case that tore open the subject of sexual violence in this rapidly changing society.”…The New York Times reports on September 10th.

On August 22nd, a young woman was gang raped in India. The twenty-two year-old photojournalist and her male partner were on assignment in Mumbai trying to get a shot at an abandoned mill compound.  A group of five men offered to help; instead, they beat the man and sexually assaulted the woman. 

While these horrific acts and the state of male-female relations are saddening and alarming there may be some silver linings on the horizon as these century old atrocities are coming so publicly to light: Frequently, when an evolutionary shift is about to happen, historic unconsciousness reveals itself by the occurrence of breakdowns. We consider breakdowns occurring in the status quo part of the evolutionary shift just as hairline fractures in a building’s foundation will eventually—over a very long time—lead to a structural collapse.

In the same way, we look at the public attention recently given to these rape scandals as an indicator that something is shifting in the collective consciousness. Indian women are waking up and face what is no longer to be tolerated. This is the forbearer of the quantum leap from sexual unconsciousness to sexual consciousness.

In order to produce this evolutionary shift we propose to bring greater awareness and reverence to our life force energy that is sexual in nature. Imagine for a moment: men—young and old—were to learn to bring consciousness to their sexual energy by harnessing and channeling that energy versus being driven by it. Envision just for one second, women connecting with their effervescent sexual radiance as a source of joy and aliveness free of guilt and fear. For all of us a new relationship to sexual energy would arise—individually and collectively.

In turn, these new practices and behaviors will affect the legal, political, familial and relational systems. Let’s create this world that celebrates and embraces the creative life force in us all.

For further practices on how to bring sexual consciousness into our private and public lives see our forthcoming book Sexual Enlightenment: How to Create Lasting Fulfillment in Life, Love and Intimacy.

Clearing Up Those “Blurred Lines”

"I hate these blurred lines."  Robin Thicke certainly gets this point across in his new hit song, appropriately titled, "Blurred Lines."  The song has been quite the rage since its July 30th debut and quickly climbed the charts to #1 within its first week. 

But once people started dancing, the question eventually popped up, "Hey, what is he talking about?"  And thus began the controversy about the lyrics, the video, and what it all means in terms of the relationship between men and women.

There seems to be two major criticisms buzzing around; one, that the song exploits women and, two, that it is "rape-y."  While it is hard to deny that the song is exploitative--the uncensored video involves women traipsing around naked while Thicke and his cohorts are fully dressed--the argument that the song is about rape is a gross overreaction.

The "rape-y" argument suggests that the lyric "I know you want it" promotes the notion that "no" really means "yes" in regards to a woman consenting to sex.  This is simply not the case.  Thicke is very clearly referring to being in a club (or anywhere where men and woman are doing their mating dance) and feeling like he is getting mixed signals--"blurred lines"--from the woman that he is flirting with. 

The lyric that follows, "but you're a good girl," conveys a common theme for women's sexuality.  A "bad girl" expresses her sexuality and is aggressive about seeking out sexual experiences while a "good girl" abstains from sex to maintain her purity.

Along with its popularity, the song touches on a deeper underlying issue in our culture about the state of our sexual expression.  In a few words, it sums up the essence--and dysfunction--of the way men and women are taught about sexuality.

Why can't a woman "want it" and also be a "good girl?"  In today's society, both in America and around the world, men are generally heralded for their sexual prowess while women are vilified.  For example, when a teenage boy wants to have sex for the first time, he may tell his father who gives him a pat on the back, a condom, and tells him to go have fun.  It is a sign that the boy is entering into manhood.  On the other hand, when a teenage girl has sex, she will often keep it a secret out of shame and embarrassment.  She may be considered to be impure or slutty.  So, for a woman, being "good" is clearly to abstain from sex and sexual expression.

Who exactly are the boys supposed to be having sex with if the girls are taught that sex is wrong?  Well, those very same girls.  Therefore, a girl must be "bad" in order for it to be okay that she is having sex. And thus the struggle - the "Blurred Lines" - begins, leading to a lot of frustration from the male perspective and a lot of guilt and confliction from the female side.

To clear these "blurred lines" we suggest to bring more consciousness and understanding to sexual energy, or "Sexual Life Force Energy" (SLFE).  SLFE is the spark of all life; it's how we got here.  It's life force in all that is alive--humans, animals, and plants--to procreate and perpetuate existence.  It's sex, orgasm, and yes, it is the energy that fuels creating anything and everything from our evening meal to a great piece of art.  It then seems absurd that this energy should be anything but celebrated.

Humans have the unique capacity to become aware of and ultimately guide their SLFE.  Unlike animals, we are not bound by instinct and being in heat--though we are of the same biological make-up.  Rather, we are able to choose how we use our SLFE.  The more we can become aware, the more we can see that this energy is available to us not just when we are having sex, but in all we do.  It can be used to create whatever we want to bring into our lives such as good health, well-being, fulfilling relationships, endeavors, and careers.  Anything that is creative and joyful stems from SLFE.

However, we are not often conscious of this choice.  We act on auto pilot and follow our desires and impulses or act out our conditioned stories ("good girl/bad girl") instead of tapping into our creative power.  However, with awareness and practice, we can learn to reconnect consciously with our SLFE.  Through this understanding, men and women can come into balance within themselves and then with one another.

Here is what will help us to cultivate the true celebration of that sexual life force energy:

•           For men, it's learning to sustain that precious energy through breath and energy practices that allows for integrating their sexual with their heart energy. By practicing mastery, frustration will dwindle as the "need" to have sex will be less consuming and avails play, joy and presence. 

•           For women, reawakening their feminine energy is key to restoring balance and experiencing joy.  Through breath and energy work she can start to rekindle the SLFE spark that had been dimmed from early negative messages. 

Bringing consciousness to her body, heart and spirit allows her to shift to seeing sexual energy as GOOD and that sex, consciously chosen, is wonderful and enlivening. The guilt and inner conflict will begin to fade.

By taking one moment at a time and bringing awareness to sexual energy as it arises, one can practice enjoying each experience of sexual expression, in whatever form it takes (flirting, hugging, kissing, touching....) without attachment to an end goal.  Then the choice to have sex becomes a conscious decision, which ultimately leads to better orgasms and deeper connection with oneself and another. 

To learn more about these practices by going to www.TantraNova.com

Summer at TantraNova

It's high time for an update from TantraNova. We have been having a rich summer including readying our manuscript for going to print with Balboa Press; leading our best ever certification 7-day intensive in early July; entertaining Elsbeth's family from Germany for a week; and getting the Institute upgraded with new windows and a paint job.

Looking ahead we want to let you know that we will be back at Esalen, Big Sur, CA, for a 5-day Couples Retreat October 20-25. 

Freddy Zental will present his Sexual Enlightenment show at a private event in Belmont, CA on October 26th. Do join us if you are in the neighborhood!!!  

On another note: We'd like to share a phenomenal and inspiring book called "Love Your Body" by Barry Taylor, a friend and colleague of ours. It covers concrete and extremely useful recommendations for our physical and emotional well-being from balancing blood sugar levels to reversing an overstressed adrenal, cleanses and eliminating depression. Take a look. It's worth picking up a copy.  

Have you heard that Freddy Zental has created a Song Soiree called "Loving Your Life?" His dream and tireless ambition to become a singer has become true. Take a listen here. Or join us at his October 11 performance at the Institute.

Looking forward to hearing from you and what you are up to,
Elsbeth & Freddy Zental
773-525-5006

For daily inspirations go to: LIKE us on Facebook or FOLLOW us on Twitter  

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UPCOMING PROGRAMS AND EVENTS

AUGUST

CREATING INTIMACY & LOVE: Beginner Seminar August 24
TANTRIC MASSAGE WORKSHOP August 25 

SEPTEMBER

INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP September 5 
SEXUAL ENLIGHTENMENT - A One-Man Show  September 7  8-9:30pm

FULFILLMENT, VITALITY & PLEASURE: Sustaining Masculine Energy and Pleasure  September 13-15 
TANTRANOVA THEATRE WORKSHOP: Breakthrough to your Full Self-Expression September 21
TANTRIC MASSAGE WORKSHOP  September 22

OCTOBER

WORKSHOP FOR WOMEN Explore the Power of the Divine Feminine Level I   October 5/6 
INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP October 9 
SONG SOIREE: LOVING YOUR LIFE October 11
CREATING INTIMACY & LOVE: Beginner Seminar October 12
INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP in Chicago's Western Suburbs October 16
TANTRANOVA AT ESALEN, Big Sur, CA: Secrets to Lasting Intimacy: Tantra for Couples October 20-25
SEXUAL ENLIGHTENMENT - A One-Man Show in Belmont, CA October 26    

NOVEMBER

ADVANCED TANTRIC MASSAGE CLASS SERIES November 1/2
INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP November 5
SECRETS TO LASTING INTIMACY: Re-awakening Feminine Energy & Joy   November 15-17  
TANTRIC MASSAGE WORKSHOP November 24

DECEMBER

INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP December 4
WORKSHOP FOR WOMEN Explore the Power of the Divine Feminine Level II   December 7/8
CREATING INTIMACY & LOVE: Beginner Seminar December 14 
TANTRIC MASSAGE WORKSHOP December 15
TANTRANOVA AT KRIPALU Lenox, MA  December 29 - January 3   Secrets to Lasting Intimacy: A New Year’s Tantra Retreat for Couples

What does sex have to do with world peace?

By Freddy Zental 

These are my thoughts: if sexual energy or life force energy is creative and pleasurable by nature and that creativity and pleasure show up in all areas of our lives i.e. where we live, people were around and the work we do and that science tells us that it's all energy...everything, we're just a denser form of it and that when it manifests as sexual energy it creates life supporting existence ...than learning practices that allow us to consistently tap into this life force energy even in its most subtle forms... then we are better people individually and collectively supporting more fully existence.

What is interesting about the manifestation of sexual energy is that when it is present for us we are more loving, intimately connected, receptive also our chemicals change oxytocin is released, endorphins are enhanced we are very present to the moment in a loving life supporting creative way. All of this happens naturally we don't have to learn how to feel this way.  Next up is learning how to use this energy in an intelligent life supporting way.

Intimate Tantra Retreats for Couples at Esalen and Kripalu

Dear Friend -

In our 5-day couples retreats you will be shown how to expand joy, pleasure, and creativity in your life and your relationship. In a safe, respectful, and joyous environment, you will be introduced to foundational and advanced principles and practices of the “yoga of love.”

Join us at the magical retreat place of Esalen, Big Sur, CA on October 20-25:

Esalen is a place of pilgrimage, grounded in a wildly alive environment—the spectacular, unp aralleled, convergence of mountains and water that is the Big Sur coastline. Anchored by the inspiring beauty of Big Sur and an unparalleled intellectual history, Esalen provides a place to explore deeper spiritual possibilities; forge new understandings of self and society; and pioneer new paths for change.

Or join us for New Years at Kripalu Yoga Center in Lenox, MA on December 29 - Jan 3:

Kripalu, located in the Berkshires overlooking a lake and surrounded by crawling meadows and woods, is a place that empowers people to realize their full potential through the transformative wisdom and practice of yoga. It’s a perfect environment for reconnecting with your beloved and expandi ng your relationship.

Will see you there,
Elsbeth & Freddy Zental
773-525-5006

For upcoming programs in Chicago go to Events on our homepage: www.TantraNova.com

To receive our daily inspirations - if you haven't done so: LIKE us on Facebook or Or FOLLOW us on Twitter

The First Step to Sexual Enlightenment: Conscious Breathing

Excerpt chapter from "Sexual Enlightenment: How to Create Lasting Fulfillment in Life, Love and Intimacy" by Dr. Elsbeth Meuth and Freddy Zental Weaver

         Breath is the essence of life. From our first moments fresh from the womb until the last sigh of death we are breathing. Most of the time we breathe reflexively without thinking; inhaling and exhaling  our way through morning routines, work, train or car rides, exercise, and sleep. Using the breath consciously as a tool is the first step to entering the mindful world of intimacy and love. When we are present with our breath we can reach a place of focus, stillness, and inner peace that allows us to go deeper into ourselves and our experiences. Using conscious breathing practices enables us to calm the incessant chatter of the mind and become a witness to our thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we are in this place of observing ourselves, we stop being our feelings and instead are aware of and not run by them. 

For example, when feeling angry, a common response is to “see red” or “lose your head” and become so angry that it takes over every part of your consciousness. By using conscious breathing in moments like these, you can retain your sense of self and clarity of mind and be aware that you feel angry giving space and distance to the state of feeling instead of being swept away by the feeling itself. It is the difference between: “I AM ANGRY!” and “I feel anger.” In one way the anger is a part of your state of being that it becomes who you are just as you might say, “Hi, I’m George.” Mindfully, through focus and breath, you can separate yourself and become the observer of your feelings so that “I’M ANGRY” is changed to “I am George and I feel angry.”  Breath is the key to unlocking the inner worlds of yourself in order to live from a place of peace. It is only from this place of calm and peace that we can sit with ourselves, know ourselves, and then begin to know another.

Lauren is a fresh faced 25-year-old woman just getting her feet wet in the adult world. She is independent, responsible, and motivated. Since high school she has always had a boyfriend and referred to herself as a “serial monogamist.” She described that having a boyfriend gave her the chance to express her loving, nurturing, caring side that was very much a part of her joy. When one relationship fell apart for some reason or another, Lauren was often quick to find someone else to fill that need for feeling love and being loved.

She had left her past relationship feeling disappointed, annoyed, confused, and jaded about love. She described herself as always putting so much into a relationship and the other person but never getting enough back from her partner. She would take the initiative setting up dates, romantic outings, and always gave the best and most thoughtful gifts. She thought of herself as being good at relationships and a great partner, and probably was for many of the men that she dated, but yet Lauren always felt unfulfilled. She often found their faults and very rarely recognized her own feelings, expectations, and behaviors that contributed to the relationship losing its spark or coming to an end. Not one of her partners was able to give her what she gave them and satisfy her need for feeling loved.

Upon moving to Chicago during one of her rare single stretches, Lauren was introduced to TantraNova and started working with conscious breath, energy awareness and the “observer state of mind.”   She learned to be present to what is in the moment and develop that non-judgmental observer of her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  Lauren started to see that although her partners weren’t perfect, they weren’t all to blame either. She started sharing that she might be looking to others to love and be loved because there was something within herself that felt empty and craved love and attention. In one realization, she made the connection that perhaps it wasn’t her partners who didn’t love her enough, but that she didn’t love, nurture and care for herself enough. She came to notice that she had often lost herself in her love relationships and was so busy showering her partners with love as an avoidance of feeling empty, loneliness and discomfort within herself. 

As we mentioned in Chapter one, we use in the TantraNova approach the breath as a guide to come to the present moment. This allows us to become like the “moose walking through the forest” and for the inner observer, watcher or witness of one’s feeling states, emotions, physical sensations and conversations to arise. Without focus and intention the mind goes on automatic chatter making up stories and meaning incessantly.  As Eckhart Tolle says "The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is.”

In the “moose” or witness state one gets to be connected with oneself, tap into stillness and peace – and that’s the space where we find intimacy. We invite you to connect with your “moose” by offering the following practice:

Conscious Breathing Practice

• Sit comfortably in a chair or on a cushion on the floor
• Close your eyes
• Place your right hand on your belly below the navel
• Exhale all the air emptying yourself out
• Take in a deep breath down into your belly expanding your belly like a big balloon
• On the exhalation notice the belly flattening
• Take in a deep breath again into the belly extending your belly into your hand
• On the exhalation again notice the belly flattening
• Continue breathing in this pattern for a total of 10 breaths
• Inhaling witness the rising of your belly – exhaling witness the falling of your belly

Upon completion notice how you are feeling and how your body is feeling. Become aware of any sensations and your state of mind at the present moment.